To be successful, you have to be selfish, or else you never achieve. Once you get to your highest level, then you have to be unselfish.– Michael Jordan
Hey Fashion Friends,
Have y’all ever been called selfish or self-centered for setting boundaries and standards? Or how about insulted for standing up for yourself or saying no to anything less than what you deserve? Well if so, then this article is for you and you are not alone.
Am I selfish or self-centered?
For myself, I noticed, the more I love myself; The more I begin to walk in my power, the more I hear someone calling me self-centered. It’s a funny thing how I’ve always put others before myself and could never get ahead. When I chose myself above others, as an honest act of self-care, I get called selfish or mean and told I’m self centered.
That goes back to knowing myself and knowing who I am. Am I actually a selfish person? No way. I’m always giving. Do I use people for selfish gain? No. Do I hurt people with selfish actions? Not intentionally. But if standing up for myself and setting boundaries hurts someone, well to me, that is their own personal problem.
Is being selfish a bad thing?
I’ve learned in life that you cannot pour from a cup that is half full. I cannot aid in anyone else’s happiness if I am not happy. I can’t help others if I cannot help myself and I cannot love someone else if I do not love myself. That’s just the facts of it.
I feel that in a world where the language of Self Hate is taught all day, every day, it is almost repugnant for a person to walk and talk the language of Self Love. I feel like we use these words like self love so often that we forget there is actual work that has to be done.
Sometimes this means being able to say no, which I’m pretty good at. Some times self love requires you to cut off or distance yourself from those who no longer contribute to your growth. Sometimes, self love requires us to set those healthy boundaries that allow us to continue to live a peaceful, non stressful life.
Sometimes, in order to get to where you are striving to go, you have to put you and your happiness above all else. People use the terms selfishness loosely without recognizing that usually, they are the ones that are truly selfish. Often, when a person calls you selfish, it has very little to do with you and is a result of their own lack of control over you and/or the situation.
Loving oneself and putting oneself first is not at all a bad decision to make especially when it is in the form of self care. Setting boundaries and standards is the way I chose to bring in 2021 and no one will ever make me feel bad for it.